Crossroad Online
First Steps – March 9th, 2023
Hi this is pastor Ken and these are my thoughts on a Thursday…First Steps
At the very least, I have paid close attention to well over a dozen people’s first steps. As a father and a grandfather, I have watched and celebrated many first steps. When I think of the term first steps, several things come to my mind. There are the first steps I just mentioned. We might call those a child’s very first steps. They could be described as the tenuous actions of a toddler who has a desire to move from one place to another in a more efficient manner than can be managed on hands and knees. They begin taking steps while maintaining balance holding onto firm objects with their hands. I remember when my son took the first of those steps “cruising” along the front of the couch or making laps around the coffee table or ottoman. Eventually he let go of the security of his props, extended his little foot out and away from safety, and headed toward whatever had caught his attention. First one foot, then the other and he tottered in his chosen direction one step…a first step…and then found himself sitting on the floor. Had he reached his destination upright? Not at all. Was it a success worth joyous celebration? Absolutely!
Those weren’t his only first steps, and they wouldn’t be the last ones that presented him with challenges. There would be his first steps into a preschool, a kindergarten class, middle school, high school and then college. There would be others as well. Steps into his first job, as well as subsequent new ones. First steps as a husband, first steps as a father where he has had opportunity to watch his own children take their first steps. None of us run out of opportunities to take first steps, and no first steps come without challenges.
Didn’t I recognize when my children or grandchildren took those first steps that they were difficult? Did I not realize that it would be easier for them if I would simply pick them up and take the steps for them as I have done so many times before? If carrying them had been successful to that point, why not just continue? Certainly it isn’t because I don’t enjoy carrying a child…I absolutely love doing that. Some of my fondest memories as a dad and a papa are of carrying my children and grandchildren. In fact, I do recognize their difficulty in taking their own steps. They know it’s hard too, and sometimes have sat down and cried out in frustration when it wasn’t all working out according to their plans. I deny my desire to hold them, and I let them take their own steps, in spite of the challenges that loom because I know those very trials will strengthen them and allow them to move freely. Carrying them might be satisfying for me, but seeing them go through life with underdeveloped muscles and the disabilities that would surely follow, would break my heart.
The book of James opens up talking about the challenges we face. When a child begins taking first steps there are trials and it is easy for the child to look at them as negative experiences. However, that outlook may not be accurate, and I think that is what James wanted to share with us. James 1:2-4 say this; My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing. (NKJV) I also like the way my friend Dr. Timothy Jennings writes it in his paraphrase The Remedy. There, those verses read as follows. My brothers and sisters in God’s family, I want you to rejoice and keep a positive attitude whenever you face troubles of various kinds, because every trial exercises your trust in God–which overcomes fear and selfishness–and builds a confident, steadfast application of the Remedy. And this steadfast engagement in God’s treatment must be completed so that you may be fully healed, mature, and like Christ in character–not lacking anything.
This scripture has caused challenges of its own for more than one Christ follower. The idea of “Counting it all joy when we fall into various trials” is a difficult idea to embrace. It almost seem to be non-sensical. It is not. I believe James is in fact trying to tell us that we need to keep a positive attitude about what we perceive to be negative experiences. Why? Because every experience we consider negative, is not necessarily so. We often deem an experience to be negative if it doesn’t turn out the way we wanted it to, or if the result of it are emotions we don’t enjoy. My son did not enjoy it when he lost his balance and fell to the floor while trying to navigate his way toward his favorite toys. At times, he fell against other objects, sometimes hard objects, that left him temporarily sore and uncomfortable. He never liked those experiences, and yet, as a result of the frustrations, bumps and bruises, he now walks freely and uses that skill daily to accomplish almost everything of value that he does. They were not negative experiences…only unenjoyable ones. If he would have had the foresight, he could have taken joy in those trials knowing they would produce an amazing and useful skill! James is trying to help us understand what we may not in the moment…these experiences are all meant to be good for us!
As Christ followers we not only need to know how to walk, we need to be able to trust the one who leads and guides us on the journey. Dr Jennings says it this way. I want you to rejoice and keep a positive attitude whenever you face troubles of various kinds, because every trial exercises your trust in God. As those who follow Christ, hopefully we have already come to the conclusion that God is good. Not sometimes…not once-in-a-while…He is always good. Therefore, He is always being good to you and to me. If that is so, and it is…then anything He allows into our lives He has a perfect plan to use for our good. Romans 8:28-29 declares that to be true. I think that sometimes we want to look at all of the negative experiences we have and claim they are the work of the devil. Undoubtedly, some of them are, but let’s not give Satan total credit for all of the experiences we want to call negative. Certainly, God will never cause evil to take place, His word is clear, He never tempts us or anyone else to do evil…It would go against his very nature to do so, and as a holy God full of integrity that would be impossible for Him to do. But, consider that some of our so-called negative experience may be intended by God to allow us to grow and become strengthened. The fact of the matter is that in either case, His word promises that He will use all of our experiences, the good, the bad…and the ugly to make us more like Christ if we will trust Him to do so. Every trial exercises our trust in God.
As our trust in God or faith as the New King James Version puts it is tested and developed it produces patience, or in the words of Dr. Jennings, “overcomes fear and selfishness–and builds a confident, steadfast application of [Christ’s] Remedy” [in our lives]. When we take the position of total faith in God, we can rest in the fact that His goodness to us won’t allow for any experience to result in our destruction. In fact, we can trust that if we accept His desired work in our lives, every experience will be utilized to increase us. We no longer need to try to maneuver situations to work out to our benefit; we can trust Him to do that. We no longer have to live in fear that our experiences will tear us down…He desires to use them to build us up. Trust Him, that in whatever you may be facing today…He is being very, very good to you.
Finally, James instructs to let patience have its work. Let it do what it is designed to do. Let your trust in God perfect you. When will you know that perfecting is well under way? When you can have a difficult experience, even an excruciatingly painful one, and still know that God is going to use it to develop your faith muscles and strengthen you…and you will stand and step forward lacking nothing.
The perfecting process is an interesting one indeed. It does not mean that the outcome of our circumstances are going to look perfect…It means God will utilize our circumstances to make us look more and more like Him every day. First steps come with challenges. Those very challenges are awesome tools for perfecting us as Christ followers.
So now, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience…let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing …and go be awesome!
Ephesians 5:21-33 Vol.10
Hi this is Pastor Ken and I want to welcome you once again to the Monday Marriage Message. This is episode # 10 in our study of Ephesians 5:21-33
Today we will focus on verses 31 and 32, but I will begin reading with last week’s focal point, verse 30 for context. For we are members of His body of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh” This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
You will recall that last week I spoke of the truth from verse 30 that as Christ followers we are considered by God to be one with Christ just as we are one with our spouse. In that verse, the analogy used throughout the entirety of God’s word is described as having become our current reality. We are married to Jesus! Ephesians 5:31 is a direct quotation of God in the Garden of Eden as He endorsed the goodness of the “One Flesh” condition He had created between Adam and Eve. We can find His original statement recorded in Genesis 2:24. Jesus also quoted the same truth when speaking to the Pharisees in a conversation recorded for us in both Matthew chapter 19 and Mark chapter 10. In that exchange Jesus was attempting to help the Pharisees understand that marriage is something only constructed by God and so, mere men do not posses the necessary understanding to be able to successfully undo it. He not only quoted Genesis 2:24 but added His own commentary as well. In Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9.It is recorded that Jesus concluded His thoughts of what God miraculously does at every marriage between a man and a woman with the following statement. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together let not man separate”.
The Greek word Jesus used in that conversation was suzeugnumi (sood-zyoog’-noo-mee), and it means to join two for a singular united purpose. It is only used in the New Testament to reference a man and a woman joined in marriage. It’s literal meaning is to glue together in a manner that will not allow for successful future separation. One intimation is that of homogenization, where two similar yet different substances are mixed with such finality that they no longer attempt to separate. A wonderful example being milk. Prior to homogenization, the cream will rise to the top and separate itself from the milk. After milk is homogenized, in its new thoroughly mixed state it will no longer separate. I also like to use an illustration of making bread. Though separate ingredients make up the dough, once baked it has become joined in a way that separation of those ingredients is no longer possible.
Jesus was making the point that when God joins a man and a woman he does so to give two different people one united purpose, simply stated that purpose is to reflect the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27). Furthermore, He was reiterating that what God joins, man cannot fathom how to unjoin. Just as a person enjoying a slice of bread produced by a baker, can perceive the different flavors and textures of the original ingredients but has no ability to reduce the bread back to its original components.
If we are in fact “One Flesh” with Jesus as we saw last week from verse 30 then this joining of us to Christ has indeed taken place as well. When we accept Christ as both Lord and Savior, we join ourselves with Him. We become as Paul wrote, members of His body of His flesh and of His bones. As I said a few moments ago, Paul clearly indicated in this verse that the analogy has become the reality. This is no longer an attempt to describe, but rather to define the relationship between Christ and us. As “One Flesh” with Jesus, we are to be inseparable from Him. We are to be joined in such a way that we can no longer become un-joined. It is intended to be a covenantal relationship that has no end.
The implications of this relationship are in a sense then unending. Everything we do, we do sood-zyoog’-noo-mee’ed to Jesus. We no longer posses the ability to successfully separate ourselves from Him. All of our words, thoughts and actions are fully exposed before Him. We should understand this is not because He is a far-a-way God who sees across time and space because of omniscience, it is because we have willingly been joined to Him, Married to Him, and His omnipresence allows for individual, intimate relationship with each and every one of us. This is a glorious thing! Weddings are something to celebrate! It could be a daunting thing as a fallible being to consider that we are joined in a “One Flesh” relationship with a perfect groom. The weight of that has the potential to limit our joy when we realize that though created in His image and likeness, we are not perfect in all of our ways as He is. However, our joy can be restored when we consider that Paul reminded us that in the past Jesus gave Himself for us. In the present He is setting us aside especially for Himself, and is washing us by the water of the Word. And in the future, He intends to present us to Himself a perfect bride, just as He presented Adam with Eve. On that glorious day, Jesus will look at us and see nothing but perfection! I imagine The Last Adam will do just as the first Adam did and joyfully exclaim…Finally! Flesh of my flesh and Bone of my bone!
Additionally I think it important to recognize that Verse 31 contains a noteworthy formula. Originally in Genesis 2:24 it was given as the formula for how this amazing “One Flesh” relationship between Adam and Eve would be duplicated and passed on throughout the rest of human history. I believe God was saying that the oneness He had given to Adam and Eve by literally creating Eve from the flesh and bone of Adam was perfect for the singular purpose of reflecting His attributes and character. I think that God was expressing that He would use the process of marriage to recreate that oneness between a man and a woman going forward throughout time. He would not put each man to sleep and take a rib and fashion for that man a wife. Instead, He purposed that a man would choose to leave the comfort of his father and mother’s home a product of their one flesh condition. God would then join that man to his wife, and they would become a newly formed marriage that would miraculously experience their own “One Flesh” condition reminiscent of the one Adam and Eve enjoyed. (Matthew 19 & Mark 10)
Furthermore, I think that When Paul was inspired to add that quotation in his letter to the Ephesians it was because the parallel requires our consideration. Jesus left His Father’s home, Heaven, to seek out His bride, the church…us, so that we could be members of His body of His flesh and of His bones. The process was the same. Through His death on the cross, the penalty for all of our sin was placed upon His righteous shoulders. Our sin forced a separation of Jesus from God His Father. Why did this have to happen? Because through the miracle of resurrection, our sin could be exonerated, and He could finally be made one with us, His bride. When Jesus went to the cross, the analogy became the reality indeed!
I think Jesus gave this voice in His prayer for us in the Garden of Gethsemane. In John chapter 17:20-23 that portion of His prayer to His Father the night before His crucifixion is recorded for us. He prayed; “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in me through their word; that they may be one, as you Father are in Me, and I in You; That they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that you sent me. And the Glory which You gave Me, I have given them, that they may be one just as we are one; I in them and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that you have sent me, and have loved them as You have loved Me”.
Jesus was clear, He was going to the cross so that we could be redeemed for the express purpose of freeing us so that He would be free to take us as His bride! Hebrews 12:1-2 says this of the way that Jesus sees us and the response we should have as we look back at Him. Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross. It kind of sounds like the description of a beautiful wedding and a perfect marriage doesn’t it?
Questions to answer:
- What does it mean to you that Jesus places such high importance on being one with you?
- Now that it is obvious that the analogy has indeed become the reality, what differences does that inspire you to make in your marriage with your spouse?
Actions to take:
- Take some time to meditate on what Jesus did for you and why He was so glad to do it.
- Thank Him personally for being so desirous to go to such lengths to make you His bride.
So now, in gratitude to a Lord and Savior who loves you so much that He was willing to do whatever it took to make you one with you eternally, spend each day in this life living expressly for Him and…Go be Awesome!
Sometimes You Just Need A Bigger Funnel
Hi, this is Pastor Ken and these are my thoughts on a Thursday…Sometimes you just need a bigger funnel.
Lynn and I have been doing a lot of canning lately. If the empty store shelves just a few years ago showed us anything, it illustrated that when our grandparents told us to save for a rainy day, they knew what they were talking about. Both of our grandmothers canned fruits and vegetables. My mom canned even more than that. Lynn and I have decided that those ladies knew what they were doing. They enjoyed the convenience of going to the store to buy what they needed, but they had each, as we recently did, lived through times of restricted access to many of those conveniences. In wisdom, they chose to preserve enough to get by in times of less-than-plenty.
My thoughts today are not about being prepared, though as I say that I recognize there is no shortage of spiritual truth that could be illustrated by putting food up in jars. They are also not about storing up things of value now to be enjoyed later, though that could also be easily extrapolated from the illustration. On this Thursday my thoughts are about the funnel my mom used when she canned. You should have seen it, it was huge! As we have been taking our turn preserving the skill of canning, I have wished on several occasions I had some of the tools mom used when she “put food up” as she used to describe it. Most of all I wish I had her canning funnel. It would fit into both regular and wide mouth jars at the bottom, but in my memory, it was about a foot across at the opening. I actually purchased a funnel of my own to accomplish the same task, but it isn’t the same. It is cheap plastic and is not made small enough on the narrow end to fit inside the rim of a regular mouth mason jar. I really wish I had a sturdy bigger funnel, like the one mom had. More on that later…after all this is supposed to be a podcast to help increase faith, not one on canning talk.
Let’s talk about faith then shall we?
Mark 6:4-6 (NIV) Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.
I now live a little more than five hundred miles from my hometown where I remember mom doing all that canning. Hometowns are an interesting phenomena. One can live far away for many years and yet…somehow…return decades later and be instantly transported back in time to a plethora of memories from yesteryear. I don’t return to that town in Western New York State very often, but when I do, and drive by the old “homeplace” I am once again a teenager talking to mom in the kitchen while she canned, baked fresh bread or did any number of things she practiced as a part of her daily life in our home.
Our scripture this morning is of a homecoming of sorts. Jesus returning to His hometown with His disciples in tow, found a different reaction to memories. Not of His memories, but rather those of His former friend’s and neighbor’s. They marveled at His wisdom and powerful works, but couldn’t get past their recollection of who they had always thought Him to be. They marveled not at the wisdom, and the works…but at the fact that it was Jesus displaying the wisdom and performing the great deeds they were hearing about. After all, wasn’t this the same guy that was a simple carpenter when He left town? Wasn’t this the same Jesus they had watched grow up among them?
Jesus understood it was because they quote-unquote ‘knew’ Him so well that they had such trouble ‘recognizing’ who He really was…The Son of God. Because of that He said, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.”
Their treatment of Him was not surprising, actually, it was somewhat foreseeable. A common reaction even in our day to those returning home from lesser professions than Christ’s ministry. Our attitudes are similar when a writer, athlete, actor or some other person of notoriety returns home…”Isn’t that the guy that…?” or “I remember when he was just a kid who…”
That perceived familiarity resulted in a dismissal of knowledge. Those Nazarene’s had the same potential to know Jesus for who He really was as did the people from any other town. Jesus wanted to do miraculous things for them and display the very Power of God in their lives, but they dismissed what they were seeing because of what they had seen in the past…a young boy playing with all the other young boys. They saw a skillful carpenter who could create things; but they didn’t see The Creator who could redeem people both physically and spiritually. Their view of Jesus was incredibly limited…by them, and we must be careful not to do the same thing today. The bible tells us that because of their self-imposed limitations…He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. It says, He was amazed at their lack of faith.
Enveloped in this scripture is an important spiritual truth. God can only do for us what we believe He can. Don’t mistake what I am saying…God is omnipotent and is not restricted in any way in terms of what He has the power to do by me, only in what He can do for me. I like to think of it like the power the electric company has in regards to my house. The utility company has nearly immeasurable amounts of power surging past my home in its transmission lines. I have a home in need of electricity. I can plug into that power source if I choose to, but how much power they can transmit into my home will be directly impacted by the size wire my home is connected to their lines with. Many older homes must ‘upgrade’ their electric service connections to handle their greater need for power. My faith is to God’s power, what the size of the entrance wires of my home are to the electric company. I don’t restrict the amount power God has, only the amount of it He can share with me.
The above verses illuminate that spiritual truth. So what power of God’s do you need to see displayed in your life today? Are you believing Him for it? Are you praying expectantly? Are you looking at that huge need you have as a big thing or a little thing in comparison to Almighty God’s power? Too much focus on our problem’s size tends to cause a distorted perception of God’s ability. Look too closely at the difficulty and God seems smaller. However, with spiritual eyes correctly positioned on God, it is the adversity that pales in comparison.
So what do you need God to do for you? What power do you need Him to display in your life? Is there disease? He wants to bring healing. Is there difficulty in marriage? He wants to bring reconciliation. Is your family in need of restoration? He wants to make that a reality. He has the power to do these things and more. Jesus said, “With God all things are possible”. I don’t know about you, but I want Jesus to marvel because of the presence of my faith…not the lack of it. God can only do for you what you believe He can do for you and as the apple of His eye…He wants desperately to give you what you need.
When I think about it, it seems like faith is the funnel by which God is able to pour His power into our lives. Aside from wishing I had some of mom’s old canning tools, sometimes I just recognize I need a larger funnel…how about you?
So now, asking Jesus to give you the largest faith funnel possible while trusting Him to provide you with all that you need, thank Him in faith-filled advance for His goodness to you and…go be awesome!
Ephesians 5:21-33 Vol. 9 – February 27, 2023
Hi, this is Pastor Ken. Thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message Podcast. Today is our ninth installment in our discovery of what God wants us to know about the interaction He desires to see in our marriages based on Ephesians 5:21-33.
Today’s edition will focus on verse 30. This is a short verse indeed, but full of potential marriage changing truth…so let’s get started shall we? Ephesians 5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.
Last week I laid some groundwork for our discussion from the book of Genesis. Today I will again reference two of those scriptures because they are so crucial to our understanding of this one. In Genesis 2:23 it is recorded for us that when Adam was presented with Eve, the woman God had made specifically for him, from a rib God had taken from him, he made the following declaration. “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man”. Essentially Adam was saying, “This woman and I are one flesh, we are joined to one another by God…we are married.
In the next verse we read God’s response to Adam’s statement. Genesis 2:24 says Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Here we find that God is giving us some incredible information. He is saying that because He has created a marriage of two people by literally creating one from the flesh of the other, and has found it to be very good (Genesis 1:31) for the purpose of reflecting Himself, He purposed to continue that arrangement forevermore. In this verse God indicated that going forward from that moment in time, although He would not put every man to sleep, take a rib and fashion for that man a wife, He would continue to join a man and a woman and make them one. He made the plan clear. When a man grew up he would leave his father and mother (the result of their “one flesh” relationship) and be joined by God to his wife, and that new couple would live in a newly formed “one flesh” condition resembling that which Adam and Eve enjoyed. Jesus reiterated this truth to the Pharisees recorded for us in Matthew 19:4-6. There Jesus said, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning, made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two of them shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”.
Adam declared that he and Eve were “one flesh”. God Endorsed Adam’s understanding and said that the plan going forward would be that He would continue to join a man and a woman and make them “one flesh”. Jesus reminded us that it is God, not man who joins a man and a woman in marriage and that as a result, they “are no longer two, but one flesh”. Now we come to scripture found in Ephesians 5:30 where by the inspiration of the third part of the Godhead, the Holy Spirit inspired the Apostle Paul to write, “For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones”. What is Paul saying? He is saying what he has been saying throughout this entire passage from verses 21through 33. As followers of Christ, we are a part of the church. The church is the bride of Christ. You and I are considered by God to be in a “one flesh” relationship with Jesus!
That information alone is staggering and reason for immense praise and gratefulness to God for giving us this great privilege! The fact that He was willing to send His own Son to earth to pay the penalty for our sin, which had separated us from Him is too much for me to imagine sometimes. When I consider that He did this so that we would be able to spend eternity in heaven, that alone is so much more than we deserve. However, that overwhelming loving action of God was not only chosen so we could stand before Him blameless. It was not simply so we could someday go to, and enjoy heaven. It was accomplished so that we could be married to the one who died to make it possible. Would you be willing to watch your only child be brutally murdered so that you could gain a daughter-in-law? That is what God did for us! If there were no further truth that could be gleaned from this single verse…it would be more than enough. But wait…there is more!
According to Ephesians 5:30, if you are a Christ follower, you are one flesh with Christ. According to verses 25-27 which we looked at a few weeks ago; in the past, Jesus gave Himself for you, so that in the present He could set you aside for Himself and wash you by the water of the word. Finally, we read that in the future He plans to present you to Himself holy and without blemish, a perfect bride! What a wonderful plan! If you are part of a “one flesh” relationship with someone who is also a Christ follower, then the plan is the same for them! You are each one with Christ. That is a beautiful thing…but it also reveals an awesome responsibility.
What would happen if I were away from home and my wife was in our yard doing some gardening and one of our neighbors came up to her and began to be mean to her? What if he started verbally berating her? What if he told her that she was a terrible neighbor? What do you think would be the result when I got home and became aware of what had transpired? Do you think that our neighbor who felt he had a problem with my wife would now have a more serious problem with me? I can assure you he would! If someone treated my bride, the one I am “one flesh” with in that way…I would take it very personally. I would react toward that person as if He had done those things directly to me. God’s word tells us that when we interact negatively with others Christ is “one flesh” with He takes it personally as well!
In Matthew 25:31-46 Jesus described what the day will be like when He comes again. In the New Living Translation it says He described it as follows. “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’ “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”
Jesus takes the way we treat those who are “one flesh” with Him very personally. So personally in fact that He said, He counts it as if it had been done to Him. This is important for us to understand because it means that if I am one with Christ, and I am, and my wife is one with Christ, and she is…then how I interact with her, Jesus says is how I am interacting with Him! It is not an indication of how I interact with Him. It is not a shadow or a picture of how I interact with Christ. Jesus is clear. The way that I interact with my wife is how I am interacting with Him. I cannot say that I have a good relationship with Jesus if I do not have a good relationship with my wife. Period. On the other hand, if I have a wonderful “one flesh” relationship with her, Jesus is pleased that I am treating her as He wants to be treated.
Questions to answer:
- Have you ever considered the correlation between the way you treat your spouse and the way Jesus feels you are treating Him?
- What things do you want to see change in that regard?
- What reminders can you offer yourself that will help you remember this great truth when interacting with your spouse?
Actions to take:
- Talk together about how you want to move forward in your “one flesh” condition in a way that will also take good care of your “one flesh” relationship with the Lord.
- Take some time to seek God’s forgiveness for times you have not treated Christ well when interacting with your spouse.
- Take time to seek your spouse’s forgiveness for not treating them as Christ wanted you to.
So now, recognizing that the way you interact with your spouse is the way Jesus says you are interacting with Him…Go be awesome!
Ephesians 5:21-33 Vol. 8 – February 20, 2023
Hi this is Pastor Ken and I want to welcome you once again to the Monday Marriage Message. This is the 8th installment in our series dedicated to unpacking the truths found in Ephesians 5:21-33.
This week we will conclude with the example from this passage given to a husband as to how to love his wife.
Ephesians 5:28-29 in the New King James Version says; So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
As with all scripture there is much more to unpack in these two simple verses than meets the eye upon first glance. The words seem plain enough, but the basis for them is founded on an incredible complexity. As I have eluded to many times in past Monday Marriage Messages, the primary purpose of marriage is to complete the process of the creation of mankind, enabling it to accurately reflect its Creator. Genesis 1:26 indicates that as His crowning accomplishment of creation week, God desired to create a being that could take charge of and manage all that He had created. As the grand finale, God desired to create someone in His own image and likeness, someone who would reflect His attributes and character in everything they did. The next verse, verse 27 tells us God did just that. And so God created man in His own Image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Thankfully we have access to the context Genesis chapter two offers which explains the complexity of these two verses.
Genesis chapter two helps us to understand that even though Adam was created first, the moment God created him, he also created the need for Eve, and provided everything necessary for her delivery on scene. Genesis 2:18 informs us that God understood that Adam was not a complete representation of Himself in a singular state. That verse says, And the Lord God said, “It is not Good that man should be alone, I will make a helper comparable to him”. I have shared in past episodes that the original Hebrew text means that Adam was merely a singular part of a complete set, both of which would be critical to their ability to fulfill their primary purpose of being in God’s image and likeness. In Genesis 2:21-22 we learn of the process by which the comparable helper came to be. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Upon being presented with Eve, Adam made a profound declaration which we read in verse 23. And Adam said; “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man”. When God created Adam, He created everything necessary to reflect Himself, but Adam was not capable of accessing everything that was God-like that was inside him. Adam was only a man, and as such he was limited in his ability to accurately reflect the totality of the attributes of God. Some of the characteristics of God are found predominantly in man, some are more easily displayed in woman. When the two are made One, the entirety of God’s image and likeness are possible. Adam declared in verse 23 that he and Eve were one flesh, that she had in fact been taken out of him, eluding to the point that at the moment “God created him, male and female He created them”(Genesis 1:27). Adam and Eve were created married. They were from their beginning in a “One Flesh” condition. In the next verse God said that in response to their perfect union which was capable of accomplishing the goal of reflecting Himself, He would replicate it in every marriage that would follow theirs. “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
I review all of that here because it is the basis for the two verses from Ephesians 5 that I am focusing on today. Without this starting point, the statement from verse 28, So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself; really makes no sense. Here, Paul was reminding us that as married couples we are in a “One flesh” relationship with our spouse. In just a few short verses Paul went on to state that though it is a mystery how God does this, He is still today in the business of taking a man and a woman and making them one flesh just as He did with Adam and Eve. Obviously, we are not physically one flesh as they were, but mysteriously or as I like to say, miraculously we are one flesh spiritually which has an effect on us in the physical and emotional realms as well. What Paul is saying is that a husband should care for his wife just like He cares for his own needs, because in light of their “One Flesh” condition when he cares for her needs he is caring for his own needs. Additionally he says when husbands love their wives, they are loving themselves.
Verse 29 adds to the motivation for the command in verse 28. It says; For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. In other words because we love ourselves, we ought to love our wives. Those looking for the loophole have asked me from time to time…some people are always looking for the loopholes…“But Pastor Ken, What if you don’t love yourself?”. Paul addressed these people here in this verse; I guess people in his time were looking for the loopholes as well. Here he makes it abundantly clear that we care for those we love…and we instinctively care for ourselves by meeting our basic needs, so…we do love ourselves…everyone loves themselves enough to eat when hungry, dress when cold, seek shelter when exposed to the elements, etc. Those loophole seekers then settle into the idea that in order to love their wives correctly and authentically, they need only supply the needs their wife has that they agree should be needs. If it is not a need of their own, then they have license to deny their wife of said need. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In order to drive that particular point home, Paul addressed it in his final remarks on the subject in verse 33.
When husbands are good to their wives, they are being good to themselves. When Husbands love their wives, they in effect love themselves. When husbands meet the relational needs their wives have, they find their own relational needs met. This motivation in and of itself would suffice…except it has the propensity to be misused, abused, and manipulated for personal gain. We need a higher motivation to aspire to in able to successfully avoid the temptation to allow selfish desire to enter our marriages. Without it we might love well, to be loved well. Be good to our wife to be treated good in return. We might even agree to meet her needs so that ours will be met. Each of these an intended outcome, but never meant to be the motivation. With that in mind, Paul penned the final phrase…Just as the Lord does the church.
As I noted a few weeks ago, Jesus did not do what He did for the church because he had personal need to. He was sinless…He did not need to die to live eternally with God. That was already His. Jesus did what He did for us because we had need of Him to do so. He came and lowered Himself to elevate His bride, because it was a critical need His bride had. We are His creation…essentially an extension of Himself. We had a need so He illustrated His love for us by meeting our need. In the same way, we are to instinctively meet our bride’s needs regardless if it is a personal need of ours or not. In this way we show our love for our wife… Just as the Lord does the church.
Questions to answer:
- How do husbands love themselves by loving their wives?
- What does that look like in a practical sense?
Actions to take:
- Discuss why you think this is so important to God.
- Ask God to help you make the things he prioritizes in your marriage the most important to you.
So now, giving the utmost value to the purposeful circle of love and respect that God has designed to be in the very DNA of the “One Flesh” condition…Go be awesome!