Pastor Ken’s Monday Marriage Message & Thoughts on a Thursday
Biblical Principal #4 for a Highly Successful Marriage – Selfless Service
Hi, this is Pastor Ken thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message where we search God’s instructions to discover how to experience a highly successful marriage. This is the fourth edition in our series 7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage.
Since beginning this series I have shared with you 3 of 7 biblical principles that govern highly successful marriages. They are; Compatibility, Recognizing that your marriage is more about your relationship with God than it is about your relationship with your spouse, and Holiness. Each of these principles are crucial to a marriage that desires to fulfill its God-given purpose and reflect Him.
This week we continue to look at those characteristics that define God-shaped marriages. As previously determined, the primary or first biblically noted purpose of marriage is to reflect God. It is why Adam and Eve were created in a “One Flesh” condition and why your marriage was a recreation of that same oneness. (Genesis 2:23 & 24) Our marriages are to be the marital mirrors that God can look into and see Himself. If we are to be highly successful in that endeavor, then we must allow our marriages to adopt godly characteristics. To that end, the 4th Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage is – Selfless Service.
Biblically speaking this is a necessity, and we have therefore, been commanded to serve one another. Just one instance of this command is found in Ephesians 5:21 there it says, Submitting to one another in the fear of God. The instruction here is crystal clear and is one of intended cause and effect. In the fear of God, or in other words understanding that God is the authority over all…submit to one another. One might argue that the placement of this verse is in context with how we are to interact with other believers, (instruction given in verses 19 & 20) and I would agree…though not completely. The fact that the next 12 verses finalizing the chapter are specific instruction on how wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to prefer their wives needs over their own, causes me to argue that the implications of verse 21 may be weighted heavier toward the verses that follow it, than the ones preceding. Nevertheless, there can be no reasonable argument that verse 21 does not apply in marriage. Romans 12:9-11 also speak to this same idea that serving one another is godly. Let [your] love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. Again, the argument might be made that these verses are not specific to marriage, and they are not, they are instruction for how to interact with those in lesser relationships. If this instruction applies to the lesser however, it absolutely applies to the greater. Moreover, the importance here is the desired motivation for following the instruction. We are to prefer one another, because it is good, and it is how we serve the Lord. In other words, by preferring one another, we are illustrating love and therefore being reflective of God who is love according to 1 John 4:7.
Remembering that the primary purpose of marriage is to reflect God, selfless service is without a doubt central to a highly successful marriage. God is all about service, because God is selfless. God illustrates this characteristic of His all the time, and He has been doing so from the beginning. In the first chapter of Genesis the first 25 verses describe the first 5 days of creation. Each of those days God worked to create a universe that would be life sustaining and useful to His crowning creation mentioned in verses 26-27. Everything God did prior to creating Adam and Eve was done to serve them and was shown to be selfless, as God gave to mankind dominion and authority over all He had created. Even though Adam and Eve used their God-given authority to sin and brought ruin into all that God had freely given them, God did not become selfish and take his gifts of life and love back from them. In fact, after literal countless other acts of mercy and grace, God continued out of His Holy and unchanging nature to be a selfless being. God was even willing to give His Only Son to be offered as a perfect sacrificial lamb to provide recompense for the sin of mankind. The bible tells us that even though we are selfish because of the sin-nature we are born with, God selflessly offers to us new mercies each and every morning.
In light of the fact that God is selfless, and the point of our marriages is to reflect who and what He is…Highly Successful marriages operate in selflessness. In fact, I like to say that selflessness is the atmosphere in which marriages thrive. Selfishness eradicates the necessary atmosphere creating a vacuum, that eventually suffocates marriage. Conventional wisdom tells us that we have to look out for ourselves, even in our marriages. Though it is not how marriage is designed to operate, the world has made this pseudo wisdom sound right and good. We have long been told that if we don’t love ourselves first, we can’t possibly love others. The world tells us things like, we can’t give to others from a place of weakness. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, we will be unable to care for others. These misguided tenants and so many others like them are lies designed by our spiritual enemy to make selfishness seem right and just. They would never be believed, and would be rejected out of hand, except that they sound plausible. This tactic of Satan, using plausible lies to deceive, has been used regularly since first deployed in the Garden of Eden. He was attempting to steal, kill and destroy then and He is continuing in those same efforts today. I am convinced that Satan attacks marriages with plausible deceptions concerning the ‘virtues of selfishness’, specifically because He is trying to kill godly marriages by stealing the atmosphere that will be healthy for them, so he can destroy the marital mirror designed to reflect and glorify the God he hates so vehemently.
I don’t want to spend too much time in this limited format speaking about selfishness and how we must avoid it in our marriages at all cost. However, I do find it interesting that many people have no difficulty identifying selfish behavior on the part of others, including their own spouse. When it comes to personal introspection however, it seems that we often have a remarkable blind spot. As a marriage counselor it never ceases to amaze me how many people come into my office with the expressed intent of showing me how selfish their spouse is. These same people however, usually don’t recognize that in doing so, they often illustrate and reveal their own selfish behavior. If they do recognize and admit their own selfishness, without exception they also offer to me rationale for why it must exist. Their reasoning always includes some form of the aforementioned worldly wisdom that speaks to the need to take care of themselves first because their spouse refuses to do so. The problem with this rational is that selfishness can never be encouraged to become selflessness by the addition of further selfishness. It simply does not make sense and has never in the history of humankind been successful.
What can illuminate selfish behavior that needs to be addressed is selfless service. Romans 12:19-21 give this instruction to those abused by another. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Remember, God is the model for your marriage. Christ is your example. Highly Successful Marriages are selfless in their service to one another. Matthew 20:28 tells us that our example, Jesus, was all about selfless service. There it says, Even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. If anyone ever had a right to expect to be served it would be the Son of God, the One through whom everything was spoken into existence. The very same One who gives us life and breath. But Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and to do so at the highest personal cost. If Jesus came to serve, how can we believe that our marriages, which God’s word uses more than any other example to illustrate the relationship between God and man, should not be all about our selfless service to our spouse? Do we really think that our lives have a greater or higher calling than that of Christ? I don’t think that is true, and yet somehow we have been led to believe that we shouldn’t have to serve unless our spouse also serves us. We don’t think we should have to offer selflessness in response to our spouse’s selfishness toward us.
I love the example given to us at the last supper. In John 13:1-5, we read the account of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet. Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father. He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end. It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything, and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him. There are just a few points I want to make from this portion of the passage. First, the act of selfless service was done out of Jesus love for the disciples. It was out of order in the sense that they were the students and He was their teacher. They were the lesser and He was the greater. By all customary tradition they should have taken the servant’s role and washed Jesus’ feet, but in a perfect example to us, He, the one deserving of honor, took the servant’s position and washed their feet. Second, this passage tells us that Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him, He knew of the evil in Judas’ heart toward Him, the ill will that Judas had where it came to Jesus…but Jesus washed Judas’ feet too. He served those who should have served Him and He knowingly served the one who had an evil heart toward Him. Now let’s look at verses 12-17, After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. Again there are a few salient points worth noting. First, Jesus let the disciples know that if He was indeed the greater, their teacher and He had served them, they had no excuse for not serving one another. Second, He made the point that He had done so in obedience to God, and they in turn should serve one another in response to God. Third, though not specifically mentioned here, the disciples would soon know what Jesus had known all along. They would soon be aware that Jesus had knowingly washed His betrayer’s feet. They would know that in their running away, and in Peter’s outright denial of even knowing who Jesus was, none of them were worthy of His selfless service to them. And yet, they could not deny that He had commanded them to serve one another in the same manner going forward. That command extends to us as well, even and especially in regards to our spouse.
Selfless service is Christ-like, it is Godly, and our marriages are intended to reflect Him. Inarguably then, selfless service is one of the biblical principles of a highly successful marriage.
So now, selflessly serving your spouse, just as Christ has selflessly served you…Go Be Awesome!
Happy Anniversary – August 17th, 2023
Hi, this is Pastor Ken, I want to welcome you to my Thoughts on a Thursday Podcast where I take some regular occurrence or personal story from my life and connect it to a scriptural truth. So here are my thoughts on this Thursday, August 17th 2023…Happy Anniversary
On Saturday, my wife Lynn and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. As our associate pastor says, “That’s not a world record, but these days, it is a pretty good average.” I seem to have an especially good memory for details of days gone by. I am able to remember events with a good deal of clarity far back into my early childhood. The details of our wedding day just 23 years ago are incredibly vivid for me. I won’t bore you with all of them, but I could go on for hours recalling the events of that incredibly special day. There are far too many to convey in this format, but allow me to share just a few.
It was an incredibly beautiful day to have an outdoors wedding. The sky was bluer than it usually is. The leaves on the trees in the park where we were wed were greener than I had ever seen them before or have ever seen them since. The grass was softer than usual, and the sun though as bright as ever, was not too hot as it often is in August. Though it had not rained the air was crisp and had that amazing smell that is usually reserved for just after a summer afternoon shower. Lynn was stunning as she walked down the makeshift isle between the rows of white folding chairs. Her hair was beautiful, her face radiant, and her smile…it was as sweet as usual and seemingly permanent. I had chosen the perfect girl to ask to be my bride and together we had chosen to marry on the best day of the year.
Those are but a small handful of the memories I have from that day. Though I enjoy occasionally perusing the many pictures people took at our wedding, I don’t need them to remind me of a single detail of the day. Those memoirs are forever stored in the archives of my mind, ready to be recalled for a joyful review at a moment’s notice. Why do I have such extraordinary recollection of the events of that day over others? Obviously it is because of its extreme importance in comparison to of any of the other days in my life. That is the day that God joined Lynn and I and made us one. That is the day that the woman of my dreams became my bride. That is the day that has forever changed every day since then for the better.
So what, you might ask is the scriptural connection for this personal story? I could connect it to any number of passages that are about marriage as it pertains to how a husband and wife are to correctly interact with one another. If you want that kind of biblical encouragement, I would urge you to listen to my Monday Marriage Message podcasts. There I cover that subject in great detail. Instead I want to connect this story from my life to a different scripture.
If you are, or have been married, then perhaps like me, you remember many of the details from your wedding day. It is easy to remember the facts surrounding the day you were joined with the person you were so in love with. Even if the relationship has changed somewhat over the years, the connection you felt on your wedding day likely keeps the memories sharp in your mind. Did you know that God can’t keep His eyes off of you and feels the same way about the day you allowed Him to come live in you through His Holy Spirit?
In Psalm 139:1-18 it says this about the fact that God loves us so much that He can’t keep His eyes off of us. O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up [each day], you are still with me!
Not only are you the apple of His eye, God loves you so much that He was willing to do whatever it took to restore a wonderful relationship with you. Romans 5:8 tells us, But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. While praying the night before His crucifixion according to John chapter 17, Jesus prayed that He would have the strength to go through the terrible day ahead. Jesus also prayed that His disciples would be emboldened to continue to share the good news of the gospel after He went back to heaven following His resurrection. Finally, He prayed that you and I would hear the message and accept the truth about Him so that we could be with Him in heaven for eternity. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 12:2 that because of the joy set before Him (the ability to share heaven with us forever) Jesus endured the shame of the cross.
Christ’s love for us shouldn’t ever be in question, He did everything He could do to prove His love for us. In light of all He did, what more could we…or would we ask Him to do? In the Gospel of Luke, it is recorded that Jesus told a well-known parable about a lost sheep. He said that even if a shepherd had 100 sheep, if one got lost, The Good Shepherd would go in search of the lost sheep and bring it back with great joy when he found it. Then it is recorded in Luke 15:4 that as Jesus finished telling that story, He said “In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away”! We are the apple of God’s eye, He can’t keep His eyes off of us. He loves us too much for mere words, and when even one person accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior, they throw an amazing party in heaven.
It’s true that God loves us that much! He created us and knows every detail about our lives…we are that special to Him. Is He that special to us? Do we think about Him all the time? Do we remember everything about the day we realized just how much we needed and wanted Him to be right beside us for the rest of our lives? Is the day we came to Jesus emblazoned on our memories as deeply as the other not-so-important events we remember so well?
If you aren’t as excited about it as you once were, this isn’t designed to bring you shame, allow it to help change you and stir your heart to once again experience the awe of loving Jesus and reveling in His unforgettable love for you. The book of Revelation has the answer to finding that your memories of the day you accepted Jesus’ love for you have dimmed with time. Return to your first love. In other words, fall head-over-heels in love with Jesus again, and have the happiest of anniversaries! His love for you is the greatest you will ever know.
So now, falling completely in love with Jesus all over again, because He first loved you…Go be awesome!
So now, …Go be Awesome!
3rd Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage – Holiness
Hi, this is Pastor Ken thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message where we search God’s instructions to discover how to experience a highly successful marriage. This is the third edition in our series 7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage.
In the first episode we discovered that compatibility is key to success in marriage. If we aren’t of like mind spiritually, marriage becomes exceedingly problematic. Ultimately the difficulty is the result of not having the same goals for the marriage. By God’s design, the primary purpose of marriage is to reflect who He is. When we choose to ask Him to unequally yoke us with an unbeliever that purpose becomes incredibly challenging to fulfill, and the lack of unified effort to that end will be the cause of much frustration.
In the second episode I shared the importance of understanding that your marriage is more about your relationship with God than it is about your relationship with your spouse. We looked at Ephesians 5:21-33 where the Apostle Paul wrote about the intricately intertwined connection between the relationship we have with our spouse and the relationship Christ desires to have with us. There, as in no other scripture I am aware of, the Bible illustrates that correct interaction in marriage is congruent with a right relationship with God. Finally, I mentioned that all of the commands concerning the best way to interact with our spouse come from God’s written word to us. It is not our spouse who gives the commands, they come directly from God. As such our obedience should be directed toward God. We interact with our spouse, but we do so in response to our God.
Today I want to focus on the 3rd Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage. When we consider the Great Analogy I just spoke of, it is important to understand that our marriages are the tangible, physical representation of the relationship between mankind and God. God is Holy and tells us in scripture that our response to His holiness is supposed to be our holiness. In Leviticus 20:26 God told the Hebrew People, “Thus you are to be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy; and I have set you apart from the peoples to be Mine”. In this scripture, God is saying that He has chosen these particular people as His own, just as a groom chooses a bride to be especially his for an uninterrupted lifetime together. Just a few chapters before, it is recorded that God reminded these same people that He had brought them out of a foreign land where they had been in servitude to another (the Egyptian Pharaoh) and had taken them to Himself, and was now taking them to the promised land. Leviticus 11:45 says, “For I am the Lord who brought you up from the land of Egypt to be your God; thus you shall be holy, for I am holy.” This language is incredibly analogous of a contemporary wedding for the time. In the Hebrew custom, just as Isaac, and Jacob had done, a groom would go, sometimes a great distance, find a bride, make her a promise of a home and then bring her back to his father’s house to be his wife. Here God has said that He went to the land of Egypt, claimed the people as His own and was now leading them to their new home that He had promised to them.
Additionally, God gave the people instruction. He told them that in order for them to be in a right relationship with Him as their Redeemer, they would have to live and act as He lives and acts. So, He told them about Himself and said “I am Holy, so you must also be Holy”. This may sound as if it were simply a command for spiritual perfection, but that would be an incorrect understanding. The word holy means many things. It means set apart, or set aside for a specific purpose. It also means to be kept undefiled. Certainly these meanings are congruent with a successful marriage. There are also some important noteworthy characteristics of holiness that are critical in highly successful marriages. God’s unchangeable nature, the fact that He is immutable is a result of His Holiness. Holiness is true. Holiness is faithful. Holiness is unwavering. God is all of these things, and if we are to be in right relationship, with Him, He says we must be these things as well. As God is true to us, we must also be true to Him. As He is faithful to us, we must be faithful to Him. Just as God is unwavering in His devotion to us we also must be unwavering in our devotion to Him. If the marital oneness between a man and a woman is completed by a Holy God, and is the Great Analogy of the relationship that Holy God desires to have with them, then the 3rd Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful marriage is Holiness.
Marriages that operate at a high level of success understand that the only way to do so is to operate with an uncommon high level of trust. I know full well that I am not the first to say that trust is key to a great marriage. That insight has likely been expressed as long as there have been those offering advice about what makes a marriage tick. Some might even look at my collection of 7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage and think that trust should have been listed as #1.
Correctly placed trust is much more than a high level of confidence. True trust is just that…true. This is because real trust is a two sided coin. On the one side, trust is something we place in someone else. On the other side of the coin, trust is that which has been placed in us. Genuine trust is the relationship between a trustor and a trustee. That being the case, absolute trust is only possible if it cannot fail. It is only obtainable when dealing with someone who is Holy. We know that we can trusty God 100%. God is 100% Holy. He is infallible. He is unchangeable and therefore His word is completely and totally trustworthy. There is nothing that He says that we cannot lean on completely. There is no promise He makes that we cannot trust wholly.
The problem we experience in our marriages is that we are not married to someone who is immutable. Human beings have the capacity, and often, seemingly a propensity for failure. Though we are created in God’s image, we are not perfect in all of our ways as He is. The fact of the matter is that as fallible human beings; we can only really know that someone is keeping their word to us if we can watch them do so with our eyes. If that is the case, and our imperfect nature dictates that it is, and if the 3rd Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful marriage is all about trust, then what are we to do? How can we operate within our marriages with a high level of success if we can’t really trust our spouse unless we are actually watching them? That sounds like a discouraging question but it comes with a truly encouraging answer.
When God told the Israelite people that they were to be holy as He is Holy, God knew that would only possible for them as a result of the relationship He wanted to have with them. Jesus told us, “There is no good in us”. God is good, but we are evil in and of ourselves. It is only when we invite God to dwell inside us…that we become righteous. God knows that we can only be holy if He indwells us, and so, by saying “I Am Holy, so you must be holy” He was imploring His people to allow Him to come and live with them. Peter wrote of the connection between the Hebrews during their exodus from Egypt and Christians being brought out of slavery to sin.
1 Peter 1:13-16 say this, Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy. Peter was essentially saying that holiness is possible for us because of the redeeming blood of Christ that purchases our freedom from sin. If we have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, and have invited Him to live in us, we have invited His Holiness to live in and through us. So, Peter says, now we have to live lives on the outside which are congruent with the Holy one who lives on the inside.
You might be asking what that has to do with a successful marriage. Everything. As a Christ follower, Christ lives in me. As a Christ follower, Christ indwells my wife also. I am still a fallible human being as is my wife. We both still have the capacity for sin. Our own ability to fail, leaves our 100% value as a trustee in reasonable question. In other words, as I stated before if she cannot see me with her own two eyes, my wife cannot put her absolute trust in me that I will always keep my word. Those who say that they can do this are either; simply fooling themselves, or they already understand that the 3rd Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage is holiness. If trust is critical for a marriage to operate successfully, and it is, and if absolute trust is not something rightly placed in a fallible human being, and it isn’t, then what can we do? Highly successful marriages place their trust in the holiness of their spouse. Where does that holiness originate? With our indwelling God. Highly successful marriages understand that they do not trust their spouse to never fail them, they trust their God who also dwells inside their spouse to never fail them.
For this reason, spiritual intimacy within a marriage is crucial. There must be a common understanding that each spouse is giving God the correct place of highest importance in their life. Real trust becomes possible when each spouse can see their counterpart investing heavily in their relationship with God. This necessary component of trust must be built at all costs. No other form of intimacy is more important or should be allowed to supersede the formation of spiritual intimacy in a marriage. How do we build spiritual intimacy? There are a number of ways to do so successfully. Pray together. Worship together. Minister together. Serve God together. Give to God together. Spend time with God together. These are a great start but are not intended to be an exhaustive list.
The last of the spiritual intimacy builders I mentioned was saved for last so that I could expound on its incredibly high importance. Each morning my wife Lynn and I spend personal time with the Lord. Some would call that our daily devotional time. It is the time that we each spend reading God’s word, and asking Him to show us new truths that will impact our walk with Him. The twist that makes it a wonderful spiritual intimacy builder for us, is that we do it at the same time each day and though we are reading in different places in the Bible, we are doing so in each other’s presence. We sit down in adjacent chairs in our living room and use the same parcel of time to press into God. I see Lynn investing in her relationship with her Lord. She observes me doing the same thing. It gives us the opportunity for much that is good for us, and our marriage. We can ask questions of each other as we desire the other’s input about that which we have just discovered. We can share with each other things that excite us from God’s word. Most importantly however, it allows us to see with our own eyes that the trust we have placed in the indwelling holiness in our spouse is secure.
When you recognize that the 3rd biblical principle of a highly successful marriage is holiness…the only source of real trust, you begin to understand why it is 3rd and not 1st. This principle isn’t possible if we don’t first make sure of our spiritual compatibility and second, understand that our marriages are more about our relationship with God than they are about our relationship with our spouse.
So now, trusting completely in the God who dwells in your spouse, and doing everything possible to build the spiritual intimacy in your marriage…go be awesome!
7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage – Principle #2 – Your Marriage is More About Your Relationship with God Than it is About Your Relationship with Your Spouse
Hi, this is Pastor Ken thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message where we search God’s instructions to experience a highly successful marriage.
We are continuing today exploring 7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage. Last time we covered Principle #1 – Compatibility. In that episode I shared with you that God’s word clearly says that in order to enjoy a highly successful marriage a couple must be compatible. Scripture tells us that the most important compatibility marker to consider is that we are equally yoked, meaning that Christians ought to only ask God to join them with another Christ follower.
Today I want to talk about the second Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage – Your Marriage is More About Your Relationship with God Than it is About Your Relationship with Your Spouse.
This is a concept that eludes most people and yet is crucial to enjoying a highly successful marriage. Even honest Christ followers most often look at their marriages as ancillary to their walk with Christ. This misunderstanding causes them to think that their relationship with God can be a healthy one, even if their marriage is failing. At the risk of offending I will emphatically state that notion is simply not possible. God uses marriage as an analogy for the relationship between Himself and His creation of mankind far and away more than any other in scripture. The sheer number of times it is utilized should squelch any claim that God does not see the two as intricately intertwined. It is my hope that this edition will help us to recognize that our marriages are fundamental to our walk with the Lord. When you consider both the primary purpose of marriage as stated by God…A man and a woman joined as one to reflect Him, and the high level of importance God puts on the connection between His relationship with us and our marriages it becomes clearer why the first principle is so important. We need to be equally yoked with another Christ follower if we are going to fulfill the purpose of marriage successfully.
As I mentioned last time, God is completely and totally holy and righteous. He graciously endows us with righteousness through faith in His Son Jesus Christ, and the redemptive work of His shed blood as the perfect lamb of God. If we ask Him to join us inextricably with an unbeliever, we have asked Him to join righteousness (us joined with Christ) with lawlessness (us joined with an unbeliever). The scripture we looked at then asked the logical questions. …what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
When we look at the scriptural evidence, God clearly draws a connection between Himself and the relationship He desires with us as His people and our marriages, the relationship we experience as husbands and wives. Today we will look at a portion of that evidence.
As I illustrated in the first episode of this series the primary purpose of marriage is unmistakably expressed in the very first chapter of the first book of the bible. In Genesis 1:26-27 it says, 26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God referenced Himself as “Us” giving the first indication of the Triune Godhead we have come to know as God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Before the creation of the first man, woman and marriage, God identified that He enjoys intimate union among the three persons of the singular Godhead. He also clearly stated that His desire was to create mankind in His Image and His likeness, in other words, beings that would reflect Him. Verse 27 tells us that the completion of that design was accomplished in the formation of an intimately created male and a female.
When we look at chapter 2 of the book of Genesis we find in verse 23, when the woman was taken out of the man and presented to him, Adam (the man) proclaimed that they were “one flesh”. There was no wedding ceremony necessary, they had been created married. Adam and Eve were one, though they were also two. They were two human beings, of differing genders, but made from the same flesh and bone. In the final book of the Old Testament, Malachi 2:15 tells us that God joined them with himself in their married state. That verse asks, But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. In this scripture we find that God joined Adam and Eve (and subsequently every husband and wife) with a portion of His Own Spirit (the Holy Spirit) so that we could possess innate knowledge of how to act in godly ways within our marriages which were designed to reflect Him. As a result of God making the man and the woman one flesh and by joining them with a portion of His Spirit, He created marriage to be a triune entity illustrating one of the many ways marriage is in fact, reflective of its Creator. If marriage is purposed to reflect God, and by God’s own words it is, and if God is the supreme participant in that union, and He is, then marriage must be primarily about Him. Additionally, the scripture from Malachi points out that the connection marriages share with a remnant of God’s Spirit, is intended to prohibit them from dealing treacherously with one another. God is making the clear connection that He designates poor interaction between a husband and wife as a personal act of contempt against Him.
In Ephesians the Apostle Paul wrote of this connection between our marriages and our relationship with Christ as well. In Ephesians 5:21-33 we read, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Here as nowhere else I am aware of in scripture, the connection between the relationship of God and mankind and the relationship between husband and wife is made abundantly clear. Paul vacillates twelve different times in just thirteen verses, back and forth between the two relationships. My personal view of this passage causes me to proclaim that what Paul wrote here explains how the Great Analogy transcends into the current reality.
In verses 30-32 Paul wrote 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. The connection God identified between our relationship with Him and our relationship with our spouse could not be made more clear. First, Paul stated in verse 30 that we are members of Christ’s body. If you and your spouse are Christ followers then you are each one with Christ, members of His body. Second in verse 31 Paul wrote that the two of you are also one (one flesh, members of each other’s body) made so by God. (Matthew 19:6) Finally, Paul eluded to the great mystery (I call it a miracle) that God continues to this day to recreate the one flesh condition between a husband and a wife. Paul then immediately says however, he is writing concerning Christ and the church, and is making note of the “one flesh” condition or the marriage between Christ and believers. Again, if Christ is the supreme being in that marital relationship then our marriages are in fact more about our relationship with Him than they are about our relationship with one another.
Of final note and quite likely greatest importance is this great truth that speaks directly to the 2nd biblical principal for a highly successful marriage. Remember in Genesis 2:23-24, Adam makes the declaration that he and Eve have been created “One flesh” and are therefore married. Then God endorses Adam’s understanding and makes a declaration of His own concerning marriages to come. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is where we gain the understanding that God recreates that “One flesh” condition enjoyed by Adam and Eve in our marriages. Now, here in Ephesians 5:31 Paul writes of an additional understanding we ought to have. Verse 30 states that we are members of Christ’s body, of His flesh and His bones. Then in Verse 31 Paul says of that truth, “For this reason”, in other words because we are members of Christ’s body, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh”. Here I believe Paul is being quite clear that the importance behind our marriages existing is because God exists. We are made one to reflect who He is. What is the thing of greater importance? The reflectiveness of a mirror or the one being reflected in it? I believe that when Paul writes verse 32 He is reiterating that all important point. After quoting Genesis 2:24, Paul is now using God’s declaration concerning marriage to refer to Christ and believers in Christ. This clearly makes our marriages more about our relationship with God, than it is about our relationship with our spouse.
Paul concluded with verse 33 which says, 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. This admonition seems to be redundant when compared with verses 22 and 25 but I believe according to 2 Timothy, it was inspired by the Holy Spirit to be placed here for several important reasons relevant to the 2nd Biblical principle for a highly successful marriage. First I will point out that if it were not for verse 33 it might be possible for us to interpret that only if the wife submits (verse 22) then the husband must love (verse 25) but with the order being reversed in verse 33 (husband is to love, wife is to respect) that mistaken interpretation is less likely to occur. More importantly, with the two commands being given in the closing remarks on the subject in this scriptural context, their connection with the marriage between Christ and the believer is easier to see. Who gives the command to a husband to love his wife? Christ does. Who gives the command to a wife to respect her husband? Christ does. So who is it that they are each responding to when they are obedient to the command? Christ. In this scripture as in others throughout the Bible, husbands and wives are given commands as to how to interact with one another. Their obedience (or disobedience) is a response to Christ and His commands. We interact with our spouse but we do so in response to our Lord.
Biblical Principle #2 for a Highly Successful Marriage – Your Marriage is More About Your Relationship with God Than it is About Your Relationship with Your Spouse.
So now, interacting with your spouse in response to your Lord…Go Be Awesome!
Longing for The Good Old Days
Hi, this is Pastor Ken, I want to welcome you to my Thoughts on a Thursday Podcast where I take some regular occurrence or personal story from my life and connect it to a scriptural truth. So here are my thoughts on this Thursday, July 27th 2023…Longing for The Good Old Days
It is so easy to long for yesterday’s gone by. Sometimes we can wish we had time back so we could remedy some of the mistakes and missteps we have made along the way. It would be nice to be capable of going back in time and avoid the hurts we have caused …or the things that caused us to be hurt. Other times it might be a desire to have back something that time has taken away. I know that I wish I could have some of the strength again that is seemingly reserved for youth. I know that my wife would sometimes love to have our kids back home as children. Though we enjoy watching them be awesome adults, and we wouldn’t trade anything for our grandchildren, occasionally I know she wishes our kids were young again and that she had the opportunity to do the things for them that fulfilled her so as a mom. There are lots of reasons most, if not all of us like to think about what we would do…if we could have just a few yesterday’s back again.
There is another thing that sometimes calls wistfully to us from the past…a simpler time. The very neighborhood my wife and I currently live in regularly calls me back to days gone by. The homes were all built in the 1940’s and even with additions and remodels they still have that vintage Americana look. The streets have not been widened, and a sidewalk still connects each home…like yarn knitting the neighborhood together. The streetlights are the same ones that lit the path for those who took evening strolls along those very sidewalks back in 1945. I have had the thought many times as I stepped out my front door, that if it weren’t for the late model cars in the driveways, one would think they had stepped into a Norman Rockwell painting displayed on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.
Why is it that we sometimes wish we could live in a simpler time? Why do we call them the Good Old Days? Life was slower for sure. The internet now offers us all the news any time of day and is capable of producing about 15,060,000,000 results in 0.53 seconds, and yes, that is an accurate figure, I just did a search for Today’s news headlines and those were Google’s stats on the results found. Back in the day, we had to wait until 7pm for one the 3 available television networks to tell us what took place during the day or wait for the early morning edition of the newspaper to be delivered to our front step. With those three T.V. networks being the only choices, families waited all week to see what would happen next in their favorite television series. If the episode ended with a cliff hanger (and they almost always did) it would be yet another week before you could rest easy knowing all had turned out well. Binge watching an entire season of a show was not even a thing and would have seemed preposterous. People were courteous (for the most part) at least to the extent that we didn’t watch everyone suspiciously trying to catch them doing something wrong like we do today. Yes, life was simpler back in the good old days and we often long for the Leave It to Beaver world that no longer exists.
Many would say that the advancements in technology have not been a good thing. A bank robber used to have to plan out his caper considering all kinds of contingencies, not the least of which might earn him a ride to the jailhouse or the coroner’s refrigerator if he was not-so-lucky. Today a person’s life savings can be wiped out in mere seconds from around the globe by a hacker with a computer. As a pastor and a counselor, I am all too aware of the electronic hiding places that social media offers to those who are tempted to use it that way. Our cell phones were meant to make connecting with other people easier, instead they serve to isolate us from the world around us as we retreat into the blue glow. Furthermore, the fast paced nature of our lives have caused many of us to look as though we were taught how to operate a car but never learned how to drive. We simply to find it too difficult to calmly share the road with others instead we are incredibly impatient thinking only of what we have to do and where we have to go.
I think all of that is actually a blessing…as crazy as that sounds, let me share why that is my view. If I feel as though I have something physically going on that isn’t right and I go to see the doctor, I don’t want him to walk into the examining room, quickly look at me from the door way and proclaim that I look healthy enough to him. If he were to do that and then dash from the room in haste to see the next patient, I would complain that he had not examined me thoroughly enough to know if there was anything to be concerned about. I might have to endure bloodwork or some uncomfortable tests, but if there is something seriously wrong going on in my body I want to know, so we can do something about it. In that situation I would not interested in being comfortable…I would be interested in being well. After all it might be a matter of life and death. At the time I was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, I didn’t even know I was sick. It was only with the results of a routine thorough physical that the indicators of the disease were discovered. Examination is often a good thing.
When life is too comfortable, we may not even notice that something has gone seriously awry. If the life we live too closely resembles a Leave It to Beaver world, we might not see the symptoms of sin-sickness that God is desperately trying to make us aware of. There were highly selfish people back in the good old days too, but the culture didn’t always permit them to show it as readily as it does today. When someone was “cut off” while driving in the 1950’s it wasn’t considered acceptable to honk the horn incessantly while cursing the offender and throwing obscene hand gestures in their direction. Today, that is not only accepted…it’s expected. It has become the anomaly to make a misstep while driving and NOT get cursed for doing it. And that is just one example, (though I chose it because of its prevalence). As a people and a society we illustrate just how selfish we are in a myriad of ways on any given day. I think that the “advancements and progression” that encourage our selfishness to rise to the top, are actually good for us. The more they make our sin-sick hearts evident, the easier it is for us to see something is seriously, seriously wrong.
In James 3:7-17 we are cautioned against allowing selfishness and pride to be the motivations behind our words and actions. In The Remedy, a paraphrase I enjoy reading, the author, Dr. Tim Jennings puts this way. Humans have tamed all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea, 8but no one can make their words harmless. The mouth speaks venomous words, expressing the chaos and evil within the heart. 9One moment we praise God our Father, and the very next moment we curse the very men and women created in his image. 10Think about it: Out of the same mouth come both praises and curses. My brothers and sisters, this is wrong, and it must stop. 11Does a spring bring forth fresh water one moment and sewage the next? 12 Can a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a sewer produce fresh water. 13Who of you is wise enough to understand God’s methods and principles? Then show it by living in harmony with God’s design for life–a life of love in action, giving in humility to bless and uplift others.14But to cherish self-centered, arrogant, mean-spirited, jealous motives in the heart misrepresents God and defames the truth.15Such principles do not originate in God, nor do they come from heaven, but are profane and destructive, and originate in Satan.16For selfishness, envy, and all violations of God’s law of love break his design for life and cause chaos, disease, suffering, and everything evil. 17Real wisdom originates in heaven and is always pure, healing, restorative, kind, compassionate, selfless, merciful, peaceful, transformational, unbiased, and sincere.
James said that as Christ followers we have to make sure that our words and actions look like those of the one we are supposed to be imitating. He points out that the things we say and do will illustrate if our selfishness and other violations of God’s law of love are truly being worked out of our lives or not. Our actions will help us to know if we are well or if there is still a lot of transformation that must take place. It is important that we examine ourselves regularly to see if we are acting in accordance with the faith in Jesus that we profess to have. James went on to write that if our faith doesn’t produce action that looks like Jesus then that kind of faith is essentially useless.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? Essentially Paul was agreeing with James, If Jesus Christ lives in us, what comes out of us should look like Him. Jesus is the ultimate expression of selflessness, and we are asked to reflect that kind of selflessness to the those we come in contact with every day.
So now, Allowing the selflessness of Christ dwelling in you to be openly illustrated by the way you speak to, and act toward the world around you…Go be Awesome!
7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage – Principle #1 – Compatibility
Hi, this is Pastor Ken thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message where we search God’s instructions to experience a highly successful marriage.
This year I have chosen to offer my Monday Marriage Message podcast in a series format. We have thus far completed a series on Ephesians 5:21-33, and have just completed a series on Marriage and divorce. Though each of these have been expository teaching systematically working through various passages of scripture, my next series is going to follow more of an episodic nature. I am entitling the series 7 Biblical Principles for a Highly Successful Marriage, and though each entry will cover an individual principle and its supporting scriptures, each will also contribute to the overall theme. I am looking forward to it this new series, so let’s begin.
I have used several past episodes presenting the truth that God created marriage for the purpose of reflecting Himself, so I won’t take the time now to repeat that teaching. However, I do think it is important to re-register the principle facts that support that theological position.
- God created mankind to reflect His image and likeness. (Genesis 1:26)
- God created humankind, male and female. (Genesis 1:27)
- God identified that man alone is in a state of incomplete ability to reflect the image and likeness of God entirely. (Genesis 2:18)
- Woman was created to perfectly complement the man that together they might be equipped to fulfill their stated purpose of reflecting God. (Genesis 2:21-22)
- The man made note of the fact that he and the woman were created “One flesh” a term endorsed by God to describe those who are married. (Genesis 2:23)
- The union and relationship of man and woman in their ‘One flesh’ condition is reflective of the inseparable unity of the trinity which created them. (Genesis 1:26-27, 2:23-24)
- Following Adam and Eve, God decided to mysteriously and miraculously “Join” men and women in marriage and recreate of them a “One flesh” condition like that experienced in the original union. (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31-32, Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:7-9)
- The primary purpose of marriage noted by the Creator and Author of the institution is to reflect God and that same purpose has been expressly continued in every marriage from Adam and Eve to the present. (Genesis 2:24)
If you desire to have a fuller understanding of this teaching it is available in past episodes of this podcast entitled The Oneness Factor, posted Aug 9, 2021 or Marital Conflict #1 What is the Purpose of Marriage? released Aug 8, 2022. A prerequisite understanding of this foundational concept is important to the series we are now beginning, so if you are not familiar with it I hope you will take the time to listen to one or both of the episodes I just mentioned.
With that I want to begin with the first of our 7 Biblical Principles for a Highly Successful Marriage. Principle #1 – Compatibility – In order to enjoy a highly successful marriage a couple must be compatible.
In our western society we place a high level of importance on compatibility in marriage. Most dating websites and Apps garner a great deal of information about a person’s likes and dislikes, habits, beliefs, and personality traits in an attempt to be able to match the user with another with whom they will be compatible. In my practice as a marriage counselor when I am offering pre-marital counseling I ask each couple why they have decided to marry. Almost everyone gives me some form of answer that indicates they find themselves compatible. Usually it is the female who will tell me how they share the same interests, or they like to do the same things. I often hear that they feel that they are complete when they are together. As I said these thoughts are most often shared with me by the woman who is the relational thinker of the duo, the man, compartmentalized in his thinking, understands it is in his best interest to agree with her in that moment though I know that if forced to answer prior to her, he would likely say something much more succinct about his thoughts on their compatibility. He would be much more likely to utter something along the lines of, “We love each other and want to spend our lives together”.
Though we do place a high degree of importance on compatibility in our culture, our compatibility markers are not the same as the one from Gods word that I want to look at today. Throughout the bible, and even in some cultures today, marriages were and still are arranged by the parents, sometimes without the intended spouses having ever met. Biblically speaking the marriage between Isaac and Rebecca comes to mind. You can read about that in Genesis chapter 24. There was no indicator of their compatibility except that of prayer offered and answered. God had been petitioned to direct Abraham’s servant to the woman who was to become Isaac’s wife. God answered that prayer very specifically in the exact way that was requested leaving no doubt as to whom God’s choice for Isaac was. The scripture actually states that by this sign, a willingness to draw water not only for the him but also for His compliment of camels, Abraham’s servant knew that the woman who made the offer was the one appointed by God. This is not a facet of compatibility that should be ignored. I often suggest to teens and young adults that they should be praying for God’s direction to the spouse He desires them to join into covenant with. If we expect and believe that God cares about us enough to meet our needs and we ask Him as our Jehovah Jireh (God our provider) to do so, why would we think we could not or should not ask Him to lead us to our spouse? If marriage is the joining of a man and a woman for the purpose of reflecting God, logic alone would dictate that God would be incredibly interested in pairing us with the best person to compliment us in the fulfillment of that endeavor.
However, there is another compatibility factor stated in God’s word in no uncertain terms. It is found in the scripture that I want to focus on today, 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? This short verse speaks volumes about the necessity of compatibility for a highly successful marriage.
I have made the following statement many times before. Marriage is a spiritual experience lived out in the physical realm, therefore, it is governed by spiritual principles – not natural ones. Last year in this podcast, I spent several weeks on another series I called Marital Conflict – Worldly Wisdom vs Wordly Wisdom. In that series I pointed out some of the spiritual principles that dictate the marriage experience.
Marriage is indeed a spiritual experience. It was instituted by God, the supreme spiritual authority. According to Genesis 2:24 each marriage subsequent to Adam and Eve’s literal physical “One flesh” merger, is a recreation of that original union. Jesus stated in Mathew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:7-9 that this redevelopment of the original is accomplished by God alone, and is intended to be respected as an act of God not to undone by mere men. Paul went on to write in Ephesians 5:32 that this “one flesh” condition is still mysteriously or miraculously taking place in the present and is the handiwork of God. Marriage is a spiritual experience indeed.
Marriage is a spiritual experience – lived out in the physical realm, therefore, it is governed by spiritual principles – not natural ones. When Adam and Eve were married it was the result of their creation. On the 6th day God created both Adam and Eve. We don’t know how long it was that Adam was on scene without his counterpart, we only know it was not more than 24 hours. I don’t have the time to lay it all out here today but there is considerable evidence that each of the days of creation were in fact 24 hour periods of time. When Eve was taken out of Adam and presented to him, Adam announced that they were “One flesh” (Genesis 2:21-23). Eve was created from Adam’s flesh and bone. Their marriage was the prototype; and yet also unique. They were literally living in a “one flesh” condition. Their marriage was created by God just as yours and mine were, but theirs was not only a spiritual experience it contained a true physical component to it as well. We live out our spiritual experience of marriage in the physical realm. In other words, a husband and wife in the physical realm are two individual human beings, but they are intended to honor the fact that God has joined them and made of them one thing – their “One flesh” condition…their marriage. Jesus said “And so, they are no longer two – but one flesh, what God has joined together let not man take apart”.
Since marriage is a spiritual condition established by God it is a Holy creation. What is holy is pure and righteous. As Christ followers, we have been made righteous by the purifying blood of Jesus Christ. (Romans 3:21) This righteousness imparted to us is supposed to have a purifying effect on our lives. As we become aware of the impurities in our lives we are to repent and turn from them. It is God’s desire that we choose to love Him more than our fleshly passions. Therefore, when we ask Him in marriage to join us inextricably with another, it is crucial that we ask Him to join us with one who is also made righteous by Him, being perfected by Him, through the redemptive work of His Holy Spirit. Why? Let’s look at 2 Corinthians 6:14 again…For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Holiness is pure, it becomes perverted if lawlessness is invited to mix with righteousness. Darkness isn’t at all compatible with light. Even a little unrighteousness cannot be tolerable by righteousness. [Allow me to illustrate – warning, a graphic gross illustration is about to happen…if you have a weak stomach you may want to stop listening now.] After a big holiday dinner, the trash can is often full of waste from preparing the meal. Hours later when it is removed from the house, at the bottom of the bag is a collection of “juice” that has been released from the various ingredients used to prepare the previously enjoyed feast. 4 or 5 days later when the trash is collected, that “juice” is rotted and disgusting, just as sin is in comparison to holiness. How many drops of that unholy garbage can “juice” would you allow to be put into a glass of pure water that you were supposed to drink and then proclaim how wonderful and refreshing the water was? I hope none! So it is to be in our marriages. We are to reject the idea of being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Righteousness is not compatible with lawlessness and light is not compatible with darkness.
Does this mean that if you have joined yourself with Christ, that you must now turn your back on your unbelieving spouse? Of course not! The Apostle Paul was clear that if faced with that situation the Christ following spouse is to remain in the union and act in accordance with God’s design for marriage. Paul reminds us that it may be through the righteous action of a believing spouse that the unbelieving one comes to be saved. Only if the non-Christian spouse is unwilling to remain in the marriage because of their spouse’s commitment to Christ, and the unbeliever chooses to leave does Paul say that the Christian spouse is free. (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)
Compatibility is key to marriage, it is of the utmost importance that we be very careful to ask God to join us with other believers only. As far as I am concerned it is the 1st of the 7 Biblical Principles for a Highly Successful Marriage.
So now, looking to the unity you have with Jesus to increase the compatibility you have with your spouse…Go be Awesome!